Harrumph!

“Take me to Brigham and Women’s…just don’t take me to the Faulkner,” said I to the EMT and ambulance driver last week. Immediately, the EMT shot back, “I wouldn’t take my dog or cat to the Faulkner.”

I was about to go to an emergency room — and certainly into surgery — with an ankle and foot hanging left at a right angle to my left leg. I was at least fortunate enough to say where I didn’t want to head.

With family and friends, I have had several Faulkner ER experiences, each of them bad in its own way. In addition, they share the sameness of clueless, ultra-literal staff and  New Mexico-style, manaña pacing.

I immediately recall:

• Broadsided by a car while biking, I went from West Street in Hyde Park to the closest, Faulkner,  ER, on a very unbusy Saturday morning. They parked me in a hall on a gurney, uncovered for over three hours without even head x-rays. Apparently, they were eventually getting around to verifying that my Harvard Vanguard health covered me. I staggered into an office to get attention and a blanket.
• A family member with an injured joint sat from late morning, into afternoon, into evening with what seemed a very low level of traffic in the room or ambulance entrance. People checked in and got a time-stamped chit if they came in ambulatory. After seeing people who arrived long after us taken back for help, I asked the women at the desk. One immediately and aggressively informed me that I was absolutely wrong, it was first come-first served. I pointed out a woman who arrived four hours later going in and the woman at the desk fixed on my eyes and flat-out lied to me that she had arrive before us.

Amusingly, B&W bought Faulkner in 1998 (joined in their corporate terms).  They also linked with the spreading organism that is Harvard Vanguard two or three years later. You, naive you, might think that they offer similar levels of medical care for this teaching-hospital giant.

I’ve heard many Faulkner horribles. I don’t know how their death rates compare to B&W and elsewhere. I do know that more urban ERs, particularly Boston Medical, have a more guns-and-guts reputation, as in don’t show up unless you’ve turned blue or are bleeding heavily from more than one place.

Yet from my tiny sampling of a single ambulance crew, my memories and perceptions of the Faulkner ER seem to have a tinge of truth. If the pros don’t think it’s good enough for their animals…

Tags: harrumph, harrumpher, hospital, ER, Faulkner