Bunyon of Bournedale

December 22nd, 2008 by Harrumpher Leave a reply »

I’m not sure which curse is appropriate. The snowplow guy mentioned before outdid himself overnight. He needs attention from Nemesis.

It took two of us in concert for over an hour with serious tools to override him. Although we shoveled several times yesterday — including doing the nice thing for the neighbor who can’t on his own — and wrapped up around six. Our walks were merely dusted and both cars were totally clear down to the asphalt and concrete all around.

The plow demon came sometime at night and must have pushed the barrels of snow, ice and slush a considerable distance to build a wall against both car and van. It was as solid as cinder blocks and two times as high.

Neither heavy plastic, nor aluminum nor steel shovels could cut into the wall. My wife had must-do shopping that would require a vehicle to carry. So…

Fortunately, I keep a wood maul in the basement for splitting logs. Swung wide or tamped from high repeatedly, it was tough enough to break the surface of the ice and give the shovels a chance at scooping. This was slow and required repeated applications of the hunk o’ steel.

As previously, the other side of the street got no plow leavings. As previously, we were on the side of the street where people are supposed to park according to the city. Even though the snow emergency was officially over,  we thought the punishment for us might stop.

Instead, we are left wondering whether plowboy is so stupid that he doesn’t realize that continuing to pile up snow and ice against cars will strand them, or is so blissed by his joy of machinery that he doesn’t think of it, or is a cackling nasty. The glimpses I’ve caught of him reveal nothing other than he looks disturbingly like Ernest Borgnine.

We solved our problem this morning and am sorer for doing so. We were left wondering what people without lumberjack tools would do to escape.

Now, I can think of Nemesis. What is the appropriate curse for such repetitive evil? There is no Tick to reprimand him. Yet, justice would demand that he be likewise stranded and forced to deal with it by hand.

We can curse him to be on a ski trip and get snowplowed in the driveway on the 11-degree morning when he has to leave to return to work. No one would be there to help, the drive entrance would have many feet high and wide of solid ice and snow, and he a shovel and a pressing need to use it.

I’d even relax the curse enough to let him find a maul in the garage.

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