Bike Schmuck Strikes

September 25th, 2008 by Harrumpher Leave a reply »

I knew a woman who referred to Snooton and Swellesley for the attitudes of our near ‘burbs. I bet she’d have a good one for Brookline as well. The pseudo-aristocracy lives — in grandeur — there.


Today at Trader Joe’s, I had biked from my humble JP digs to pick up some hippie-dippy foods for my weekend dinner guests.  But, holy bike humps, Batman, some putz had commandeered almost all the gigantic bike rack. Someone had locked a bike parallel to the rack.

What was left in a Ribbon Rack® designed for nine bikes was the last hump. There was one bike there the right way, leaving just enough space on the outside of the hump for my thin wheel.

I translated this piggishness to parking in a fire lane or handicapped zone because you’re special. I opened my bag to get paper and pen for a zinger scolding note. Lackaday, I had cleared out the contents earlier and was foiled.

As I took off my bike shoes, the schmuck emerged with her own tiny bag of mouth delights. She was late 40s or early 50s, plenty old enough to 1) know how to use a bike rack and 2) to have some consideration for us lesser mortals.

I: You really shouldn’t block the whole bike rack.

She: Oh.

I: A lot of us can share this rack.

She: There wasn’t enough space for my bike in the rack.

I: There’s a mountain bike and a road bike at this end. Both fit fine. Yours would too.

She: (Shifting to justifications) I’ve never seen any other bikes here. (This suggests that she is in the habit of bogarting the rack. Also, in my experience, there are usually two to four bikes locked here.)

I: (Silent but looking.)

She: I’m sorry.

I: Thank you.

She: Well, there’s nothing else I can do about it now.

I bet she isn’t chastened, that she’ll be a repeat offender, and that if I had been even sterner, it wouldn’t have made any more difference. Well, I’m still going to be considerate of others, even those dreadful cyclists. I’m still going to speak to (or, less bravely, leave nasty notes for) entitled princes and princesses.


One Response

  1. lockthebike says:

    Imagine carrying a spare cheap bike lock to use in situations like that…

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