Invisible Purple Butt

June 23rd, 2010 by Harrumpher Leave a reply »

Seen only by my wife, my big old gluteus maximus (sinister) bruise got bigger. Following being hurled to the pavement with my bike by a hit-and-run driver 11 days ago, the worst wound isn’t publicly obvious.

A bit lower, knees in general lack the beauty and sensuality associated with other parts, such as necks. My far more displayed right knee is even less attractive after the collision. My right elbow took an asphalt scrape as well. The knee is scabbed over where it had been bleeding that day.

It’s my left nether cheek though that seemed to have taken the brunt of the not-quite-passing driver’s side view mirror. I figured that out on the cycle home as my head began to clear from the shock of it all. It began to and has continued as though my hip and butt had taken the force of a baseball bat in full swing.

The geometry and logic of it suggests I might feel grateful and fortunate. A few more inches or a different angle and the car surely would have caught my bike’s rear wheel instead of my rear end. In that case, I likely would have ended up under the car and dead.

Given the irresponsibility and cowardice of the driver in what did happen, that too would have been a hit and run. It’s unlikely that we can teach people what they didn’t learn growing up.

Now I have this living, morphing, almost certainly disappearing tattoo…down there. The afternoon it happened, it was grapefruit sized. It grew to cantaloupe dimensions and covers my entire left launch.

Assuming it doesn’t form internal blot clots, it should become paler until it disappears as my body resorbs it. The ubiquitous custodians that patrol our circulatory system are relentlessly cleansing.

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